Toxicity in online video games is something that has become pretty much the “norm” nowadays. Nothing new here. If we look at subcategories of this behaviour, there is something all of us most likely came across — sexism.
I had a very interesting conversation with one of my acquaintances the other day. I wanted to find out about how she deals with overall toxicity in games, not only regarding sexism but overall. But just as I was asking the question, she revealed that she quit online gaming all together.
“Too much judgement” she said. “Maybe if there wasn’t that much of a judgement, I’d feel more relaxed while playing FPS or MMO games.”
Of course, this type of topic is a common occurrence, so we delved into a heated discussion.
TL;DR was, “There was almost always some type of drama or some annoyance whenever my gender came out, so I just quit playing online. I can’t talk about it with our gaming group either, most of them are guys and they would immediately mark me as a SJW.”
A lot of people seem to think that sexism is less and less in games, and “it is just a meme/joke”. And most of the platforms that are for “women” seem to be just a marketing movement, which possibly even contributes to some negative stereotypes. That’s why even women themselves feel intimidated and do not want to seem like they are “SJW”.
I was curious and wanted to ask my gamer friends about what they think of this issue, like, does it still exist? I hopped on Discord, made a convo with whoever was available during the time, some friends. I mentioned this issue to them, and I got plenty of answers similar to this: (from guys)
“Well, I have never come across something like that, you sure that wasn’t isolated?”
“No way, that’s crazy, but I don’t think that happens a lot right”
“Meh, when you say a platform women only it sounds so SJW, we all know what they are”
“I saw this girl in game the other day and everyone was giving her free items, I think she was enjoying attention tbh”
Surprise surprise.
I used to think what I experienced in games were just mostly isolated incidents as well, or thought that I probably brought it upon myself for somehow not “hiding” my gender better. I shouldn’t have used the microphone, I shouldn’t have used the membership form to reveal my real gender. Like, if I reveal my gender, I have to face consequences, right? It means I’m looking for attention?
No.
Some people were just sexist, and it was NOT my fault. I also have the right to play games however I like, I can use my mic, I can use the pronouns I want. That does not justify all the NSFW messages or requests coming from people, or being treated unfairly in any way (getting “free loot” is as bad as getting treated horrible y’all).
That’s why I came to see that platforms for women to come together in a relaxed place without having to worry about all of the above, is important.
No, that does not mean they are the enemies of men. They just want to play games and have fun, not be stressed about it!
Girls just want a good game.
